We live in three different states, but for years we worked just steps from each other. Only Scott has to read the obituary pages for work; I guess you could call it a 'hobby' for me and Anne, reading and sharing these short essays on life. Obituaries, done well, are joyful and express love and pose an important question....how to sum up a life in a few words, sentences or paragraphs? And indeed, how to live in the short time given us?
A few weeks ago, Anne sent us a link to an obit on the Iowa City Press-Citizen website. The decades old photo had a jolly looking lady wearing a huge bouffant hairdo. Her work history was sophisticated, having been on the staff of a national magazine and seemed to be a lady-about-town. Why this picture? Was she happiest then, at the moment when it was taken? Was she with friends she loved on that occaison? Was this a moment she was finally able to relax and have fun?
And what photo would be selected for my own obituary? From a golden time of my life--the wide-eyed kindergartener taking in everything and skipping home from school? From a time of some triumph in my life, or just a shot when I looked really good? Or really happy?
I enjoy seeing the infinite range of the course of modern life through these obituaries. Sure we can trudge through our days feeling so homogenized by television, feeling our lives need something different, something to make us feel the individual we are. We watch others ignore rich moments of living in their quest to buy the next very best thing. In our down moments we feel a blandness, a sameness in the quest for advancement and security. But obits are evidence to the contrary. They vary tremendously in story, loves and family, occupation and pasttimes. Give me a obit writer with verve, with a true sense of who I am, who isn't afraid to be different, and can see me as an individual.
Scott recently sent us an obit so warm and chatty, I felt I was at the writer's kitchen table munching on post-funeral cookies and sharing memories and laughs. It is a great one, and one of our "club" favorites. Here are some highlights:
"He won state and national awards for showing both sheep and himself."
"Our proud Norwegian will live on in his trees, wit, stories, and our hearts. He's off to his next great adventure at U of I Medical School; we only wish he could be a more active participant."
"In lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to ............. and we will send them to the hospice program at the Iowa State Penitentiary (Not tax deductible), or plant a tree anywhere (you can call it Max) but TAKE CARE OF IT!"
"We will miss him desperately, but he said he was tired."
Sounds like a fun guy who was truly loved. Who wouldn't want that for themselves?
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