Eton, er Texas Mess, or Thanks to the Dog

(First off, my apologies for the crooked photo...I devoured the "Mess" long before I checked the shot.)

One of the benefits of traveling with a guide is the ability to dissect a menu in record time. This is especially helpful when it comes to desserts...and answering the obvious question when handed a dessert menu..."which brilliant concoction of cream and sugar and butter shall I have tonight?"

Our guides in Scotland interpreted:

Millionaire's Shortbread--shortbread covered with caramel and chocolate. (Good stuff.)

Cream Meringue--two saucer-sized baked meringues sandwiching a layer of sweetened whipped cream, Oreo-style. (Bordering on ethereal, but comically difficult to eat.)

And our favorite, with a name none of us could decipher by ourselves, the Eton Mess. (Absolutely hands-down the best dessert EVER.)

A disastrous Pavlova in a dish, Eton Mess is a mixture of broken baked meringues, whipped cream, and strawberries. Wikipedia notes that the first Eton Mess may have been "invented" by a Labrador accidently sitting on a picnic basket in the back of a car on the way to an outing. It is the dessert served at the prize-giving celebration picnic in the spring at Eton College in Britain, and is really quite special.

Since our trip in June, I've been working off my "Meringue and Cream Weight" as I think of it, and am down to my pre-Scotland numbers. So I finally felt I could give a Mess a try.

Hampered by my inexperience with meringues, and yes, I'll blame the altitude too, I ended up with tasty, but weird meringue. The top layer was lovely, thin and brittle. Not attractive mind you, but the texture was right. Underneath was a firm marshmallowy goo. This was not suitable for the Mess, but of course I ate it anyway....standing up, in front of the stove.

Next, I whipped cream with bit of honey, chopped up some mango, since finding a good strawberry in these parts is nothing short of a miracle, and layered it all together.

The completed mess wasn't so pretty, but it had all the essential elements, each spoonful carrying an unpredictable ratio of crunchy sweet meringue, soft cream, and juicy fresh fruit. Fantastic, but probably just a once a year indulgence. Now, do you still think Scotland has terrible food? The secret is knowing what to try, thanks to Paul and Pauline, our guides.