Senior Ambition

Today's New York Times quotes Philip Seymour Hoffman, “I’m going to be 41, and I’ll go to the bathroom and get a good glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I’m like, What happened?"

I probably felt this way myself at 41. On and off a little doughy and getting little to no exercise, there was the occasional shock of recognition I was getting old, usually in a brutally lit dressing room at the mall.

This is not the way it is today.

Sure, aging slaps me in the face still. Joints creak. Skin looks tired. Eyes droop. But rather than being an occasionally stunned spectator to the march of time, the effects of bad eating and a slovenly lifestyle, I'm in building mode.

I'm building endurance, strength, muscle. Sure the skin may not cover the frame as tautly as before, but instead of looking at a deterioration of things, the focus is on what can be built up. The quadriceps and triceps gain more definition. Stamina increases. I log longer distances in my running journal with less effort.

It was still a revelation when a running friend mentioned I was now qualified to compete in the Senior Olympics. Yeah, I could do that.

When I go back to Illinois, I try to run around Oakland School, the site of so many old humiliations. It is a point of victory for the 10 year old who did not qualify for any event at the all-school sports jamboree in 1968--the only student in the school in this predicament, mind you--to be considering any competition at all. And when I looked at last year's Texas Senior Olympics results and learned I could have easily, easily won a silver medal in the 5K, I smell redemption.

Those following the antics and demographics of the Baby Boomers know that I'm a walking, running, cliche. We're expected to have active Senior years, to channel our defining ambitions in new directions, to strive for new goals, to thrill-seek, to embody Citius, Altius, Fortius. Yet, I suspect the label "Senior" is discouraging Boomers from participating in the Senior Olympics. As a group, we hate the notion of getting old. Elderhostel is having to rebrand...we also hate the idea of becoming "Elder."

This is something I don't mind, the idea or the label of getting old. I may be getting a bit wrinkly, but I'm also getting Swifter, Higher, Stronger, and that feels great.